Because We Can

It’s my belief we’re put here to do good with what we’re given.  I believe responsibility taken for choices we make lends to a richer and certainly a more mature existence.  And, for those who might not agree, it’s my belief that, at a minimum, we’re not put here to bring misery to others.  If you can’t do good, at least don’t allow your legacy be a sum of the harm you’ve done to others.  With that mindset, I do try – and believe we all should – to remember that we never know what another goes home to.

Very rarely do we stop long enough to remember that “statistics” are actually based on people, their experiences and their lives.  We never know if the neighbor three houses down is one of those women who make up the 5 million abused wives.  And if we don’t know that, then we certainly don’t know that she’s left her abusive husband and is now staying in a homeless shelter.

Do you know who the families are in your community who are missing a husband and father or wife and mother because of a choice made to join the military and who is now overseas?  You might not know it, but there’s a very good chance this decision, noble and unselfish, is also equated to a financial burden for the family as a whole.

When I worked with Mississippi’s two largest employers, there was an annual United Way drive.  This was important to me then and when I struck out on my own two years ago, that was something that I felt was missing on a personal level.  It was never much I could contribute; and even now, I wonder sometimes whether or not my small contributions really make a difference (even though I know they really do on some level).

It was important to me that I find some way to continue to make, small as it is, a difference.  I chose two organizations that were close to my heart for a few reasons.  Again – it’s important to me.  I contribute to the USO; my dad is a Vietnam vet and my family has always been incredibly supportive of our country’s military.  The USO is dedicated to our country’s military and tries to keep in mind the human aspect of all those statistics and numbers.

I also chose McKemie Place.  It’s a local shelter for homeless women and is the only overnight shelter in Mobile, AL.  It’s relatively new, but in two years, it’s helped more than 500 women whose options before included remaining in an abusive household or sleeping on the streets.  While I have never faced being homeless, I do know the fear that’s in the heart of these women.  The agency provides meals, job referrals and helps women pick up the pieces of what once was their lives.

With the holidays fast approaching, it’s a great time to take a step back from our lives and recognize that while we’re not trying to make anyone else’s life difficult, there are things we can do for others to make theirs a bit better.  Search your soul and then choose an agency or cause that’s worthy.  Choose local or national – whichever you prefer and do it for the right reasons.

As usual, you know I’m going to have a clip from a classic movie that fits this post.  Magnificent Obsession, written by Lloyd C. Douglas, was made into a movie in 1935 and then remade nearly twenty years later in 1954.  The 1954 version starred Jane Wyman and Rock Hudson.  Fantastic movie and in my list of Top 5 all-time faves, no doubt.  Rock Hudson learns the importance of doing good just because he can.

 

A Must-Read Before You Begin Your Holiday Gift Shopping

It’s that time of year when marketing specialists are working closely with their clients in an effort to get the latest products front and center, just in time for Christmas shopping.  Whether it’s gadgets, toys, album releases or automobiles, everyone’s scrambling to ensure their latest must-haves are timed perfectly for public consumption.  What the experts might be missing, however, is the subtle shift that’s taking place these days – and if they’re smart, they’ll take notice of it sooner rather than later.

I begged my mom for these shoes for WEEKS before Christmas!

The recession over the past few years has really caused many of us to take a step back and re-evaluate our “stuff”.  Job losses, foreclosures and uncertainty about the future has made many realize all the things they’ve acquired over the years mean little if there’s no house to put them in.  Priorities have certainly shifted.

We all want our lives memorialized in some important way; we want to stand apart and we want meaning attached to what we hope will be a well-lived life.  There’s a reason for all the endless models of BlackBerry, iPhone and computers; and there’s a reason for countless ways of personalizing everything we own.  No one wants the same cell everyone at the office has.  Before long, though, it becomes tiresome and usually, all of these “things” become a burden.  So if we’re not as excited by the prospect of unwrapping the latest iPad on Christmas morning, what is it that will have us declaring, “This is the best gift ever!!”?

Brace yourself – the answer is actually quite simple.  This year, sentimentality rules and the value is not even slightly based on how much money was spent.  Husbands and wives are presenting one another with beautifully framed photos of their childhoods, or better, they’re looking through all those old pictures in search of finding two pictures – one of themselves and one of the spouse – that are similar in pose and age.  It’s the symbolism that’s expressed in these one of a kind gifts and they’re the ones that will be long remembered after the iPad and BlackBerry is an antiquated has-been – much like the beta tapes from the early 1980s and 8 track tapes of the 1970s are.

Want proof?  Four words: the Christmas of 1995.  I received a lot of gifts, but don’t ask me what they were.  I truly can’t remember – except for one very special present that my Mom made for my sister and me.  It is by far the most treasured gift I’ve ever received that came wrapped and from under a Christmas tree.  It was a book of index cards, spiral bound, that she wrote in her beautiful Catholic school-inspired handwriting.  In it, she spoke of where each of us were that year – my dad, my sister, her kids and my Jacob and of course, she and I.   She put in writing all of those hilarious stories from our childhoods – my sister’s brazen comments to her teachers in hers and my adamant declarations to my own kindergarten teacher that I did not come from a stork was put in my green recipe book.  She put all of the recipes that we were raised on and included a few different ones that she thought I’d like in mine and a few my sister would like to make for her own family in her book.  She told stories that we’d never heard before, each card a memorial to our family.  I can tell you, without a doubt, when the time comes to gather up and head north when a hurricane approaches, I make sure I have photos and my recipe book – the rest of the “stuff”, including my flat screen, furniture and even my library of books – it all stays behind.

When it comes right down to it, isn’t that what a gift should mean to all of us?