The Bad News is that One of Them Becomes President

capture-20161014-175943The good news is we’re now down to days before we can finally come out of this disturbing and disgusting and surreal state of reality we’ve all been forced to endure in various stages for the past year. The bad news is we have days left before we can finally come out of this surreal state of reality. Typically, election season gives Americans an opportunity to explore their options. Who supports the issues that matter to a family? Which candidate will keep us out of war? Which candidate is going to be remembered for the good he or she did for Americans and humanity in general? Each national election brings with it a certain degree of embarrassing revelations, silly bickering and promises that if one candidate is elected over another, the country’s going to hell. That’s not the case with the current season – not by a long shot.

Imagine the worst kind of criminal; one who is the epitome of pure evil with his dark and brutal ways. Imagine the trial and the truly tragic details of his victims’ final moments that emerge each day. You know these details because the trial in its entirety is being broadcast live. Now think about the divide the trial causes between supporters and those who hate the accused. Can you imagine it being any worse than what we’re witnessing in this election? Yeah…me either.

These candidates have made history, no doubt. They’ve divided a nation. They have created the same weaknesses and fears that are usually reserved for a category 5 hurricane headed straight for our hometown.

When you take a step back, and I’m sure many will begin to see this once the election is behind us, there are common denominators in that trial, the hurricane and the election. Pride and money and notoriety and a place in history are those ribbons woven through each. The politicians warning of the hurricane walk a fine line in how they tell people to evacuate (or not), where the storm makes landfall and when to declare states of emergency for the “imminent landfall”. If that hurricane doesn’t make landfall, there goes the credibility.  If the jury finds the defendant not guilty, there goes the perfect conviction record the DA loves to brag about on a daily basis. It all comes down to being right and winning and no shortage of taunts directed to the loser. Losing, to them, is like a death.

These candidates have spewed so much hate in an effort to win that they don’t realize they’ve burned beyond recognition the entire election process and everything our founding fathers intended. Each time a “game changer” breaks into our daily routine, via breaking news emails, Twitter trends and “exclusive interviews with the victim tonight”, we’re forced to factor it into our decision-making process. If we believe everything each side swears is true, we can decide between a rapist and a rapist’s wife. We can choose a murderer if we’d like or maybe a serial sexual harasser. We can choose the candidate whose daughter bought her education or we can opt for the candidate whose children are “destined to turn out like their predatory father”.

There’s no shortage of information from which to make that decision, either. We can believe an Australian computer programmer and journalist who’s hiding out in an embassy to avoid facing his own sexual assault charges. We can also take our pick of an ever-increasing number of women who say they were victims of sexual harassment by their former boss, who’s now wanting your vote. And let’s not forget the women who have, for years (unlike the other candidate’s accusers), insisted a former president and husband to the current candidate raped, molested or otherwise assaulted them. We can believe a “kill list” or we can believe a group of people whose egos convinced them to try out for a reality show years ago because they wanted to be in the spotlight. We have countless audio tapes and no shortage of teary-eyed victims who turn it on as soon as they cameras whir to life.

So successful are their efforts that they have managed to annihilate bonds that were previously stronger than any super-duper new must-have product being shown on Shark Tank. Families are divided. Best friends are now at one another’s throats and are being closely monitored by terrorists everywhere for tips on how to wreak the most damage to the human psyche. Facebook and Twitter are the new battlegrounds and that amazing actor many were convinced should star in every TV show, major film and documentary has now become dirt under a fan’s feet because of his “insults to the fans”.

How in God’s name did we get to the point that no recognizable shred of human compassion and intelligence and goodness and sense of fairness can be found in our political candidates? When did we, as a society, decide it’s OK to treat people in a disrespectful way? It used to be that Facebook was filled with those ridiculous messages of inspiration for humanity: “Tread lightly, you don’t know what challenges he’s had” or “Be kind to everyone. God may be testing you”? No, these days it’s “If you vote for candidate B, you’re white trash” or “Unfriend/unfollow me if you support candidate A”. I admit, there were times when those sugary-sweet memes hit my timeline that I’ve wanted to add a touch of sarcasm, but after this election, I’ll take a timeline FILLED with those cheesy sentiments over the darkness of political memes.

We’ve all hit new lows, not just these candidates and campaign workers. We all have responsibility to the monstrosity this has become. It’s bigger than any of us. If there’s anything at all we can all collectively agree on, it’s that we’re about to emerge from this 10th ring of hell we’ve endured. That’s the good news. The bad news is one of these candidates will win.

Don’t Kid Yourself: We Lose in this Election

 

I’m sure there’s some historical or Biblical reference to the events we’re seeing unfold in contemporary American politics. I’ll leave that to those who can actually make a reasonable connection; I’m more interested in how it’s capture-20160809-191531affecting our daily lives. Horrible, faded and greedy – all apt descriptions of candidates across the political realm. Others may toss in a few more descriptive adjectives: murderous, selfish, evil: all points I wouldn’t argue.

For years, we, as average Americans, may have been passive in our willingness to demand accountability. In many ways, politicians were like celebrities. These glamorous movie stars occupied the left coast while the arrogance that defines the elite politicians occupied the right coast. Somewhere in the middle, the rest of us created our spaces. Lately, they’ve begun invading our space and time and thoughts – and with each intrusion, the celebrities and the politicians feel even more entitled to claim what they never owned to start with: our loyalty.

If loyalty’s not an option, then feel free to never again darken their Facebook or Twitter pages:

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But we always could rely on our politicians to exercise their loyalty to their own parties, right? Really, who demands something they refuse to show in their own actions? Elected leaders, that’s who makes those kinds of demands:

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Senator Susan Collins, after initially saying she would support the Republican nominee, rescinded that comment and now says she does not support Donald Trump. “If I were giving him advice, I would tell him he should own up to making mistakes…and he should stop insulting people.” What’s worse is that she’s considering voting for Clinton.

My favorite display of disloyalty comes not from a politician, per se, but a former John McCain aide, Mark Salter. He’s clearly missed the irony in his statement, “Are we in such dire straits that we must dispense with civility, kindness, tolerance and normal decency to put a mean-spirited, lying jerk in the White House?” What’s interesting is his tweet of “I’m With Her”, which is the rallying cry for Clinton supporters, answers his own question.

While there’s some evidence of Democratic politicians crossing over to support Trump, they’re certainly not advertising it, which makes them smarter on that point alone. After all, they’ve seen the implosion of the Republican Party now that it’s coming apart at the seams.

Is this really what our society has become in terms of leadership, power, strength and everything else that used to define this country? Our own government is suing itself, for God’s sake.

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And what should the residents of Louisiana do now that their governor has sued their employers? Big oil is as controversial as it gets and for good reason, but usually, politicians promise to increase jobs and clear the path for companies to do business in their respective states. The last thing a governor does is jeopardize the future of the nation’s second largest oil producing state. Unless you’re Governor John Bel Edwards. The industry that employs 300,000 people and accounts for more than $70 billion in revenue each year is now in his crosshairs.

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In all fairness, he’s right about the coast being in a major crisis, but haven’t we learned by now that Big Oil just doesn’t care for what the governor is hoping will be an “amicable solution”? Read the story here.

If there’s been anything at all that could remotely be construed as a silver lining, it’s that there have been many truths exposed to the American people. Problem is, the exposure on both sides is so irretrievably broken that we’ve come to the realization that this election no longer has any semblance of a dignified, informed and ethical process. The worst thing for Americans to do is to allow these poor choices to divide us. Ulterior political motives have already caused a division of races, a national debt that is so surreal that there’s no use pretending it could actually be repaid and a massive global stage in which the rest of the world is watching, alternating between shock, disbelief and humor.

Congress shows up when it serves a purpose. They would have us believe they’re battling their contemporaries to secure funding for whatever cause constituents are demanding, but they’re fooling no one. They’re always ready to jump out of their chairs the moment their extravagant vacations begin.

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Meanwhile, the campaigning continues, each new day bringing a new and ridiculous “media created, politician approved” scandal. Just consider the ones from last week – we’ve heard nothing else since these breaking news stories made the rounds and instead, the media has steered our attention to today’s crisis, whatever it might be.

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And now, we’re expected to be prepared later this year to cast our votes for one of the two most disturbing candidates to ever attempt to lead the world’s greatest nation. That old saying that making a real change at the polls is irrelevant: no matter what voters do at the polls, we will most certainly lose.

Here We Go – #JadeHelm Insanity

For months, we’ve been hearing about the world coming to an end, courtesy of our very own military. Jade Helm training exercises have begun in several states, including Texas and yes, even right here in Mississippi. There have been more than a few times – no, actually, there have been 9,129 times – I’ve rolled my eyes at some of the ridiculous theories behind this “ultra secret” effort – despite the many public hearings the collective military has offered. And let’s not forget the pictures and videos these goobers are using as their proof. People act as though these are all signs of war – by our own country against our own country! Now, though, things have reached an entirely new level.

My fellow Americans – we’ve nothing to worry about. No, really…the Counter Jade Helm Company has arrived. This group of folks is taking a stand, or rather, a place. They’re taking a place right behind all of the various tankers and other vehicles. They’re following them. My God. They are actually following them. They say they’re simply being vigilant. Great.

Here’s why this bothers me to my core:

Every time one of these crackpots opens his mouth, he’s basically disrespecting the best military in the world. That could include one of his own family members. Every single time he tweets that he’s in “hot pursuit”, he’s saying, “I don’t trust our military”. It’s a kick in the teeth for every man and woman who ever stepped up to the plate to do what most of us could never succeed in accomplishing. It’s a kick in the teeth to my best friend, who by the way, is also moving his wife and son back to Mississippi, even as he’s preparing for these exercises. He’s not worried about his fellow troops. It’s called common sense.

Worse (and this is what’s really infuriating) it’s a kick in the teeth to my dad, who fought in Vietnam and then returned home, fell in love with and married a woman who happened to have a bit of baggage. I am that baggage.

And for all of those who say it’s all on Obama and he’s the one directing these “exercises”, let me tell you a quick story:

My dad and I have this ongoing joke between us. I walk into their house and all bets are off – we instantly turn into these crazy people talking politics. I tease him about our current president and how I know he’s really a Democrat. That usually turns the attention to my mom and I say, “Bet you didn’t know you married a Democrat.” And without fail…EVERY SINGLE TIME….Daddy says, “I got something for Barack and Michelle” (that’s what he calls them) and he reaches into his pocket. On cue and like clockwork, Mom follows suit and reaches into her purse. I swear, I fall for it every time. I know exactly what’s about to happen, but yet, I’m waiting. Both of them pull their hands out and with their middle fingers, and only their middle fingers, showing. Better than a George Burns and Gracie Allen skit, those two. They just laugh and laugh and if you’re in the same room, you laugh and laugh too.

Even Einstein sees the humor.

Even Einstein seems the humor.

My point is: don’t underestimate any member of our military. I have great confidence that it would take far more than the word from a president even our military does not trust to cause our brothers, best friends, fathers, sisters and mothers to turn against their own. No one – and I mean no one – could possibly love this country more than those who are willing to die for it.

So do us all a favor – direct your attention to those things that really do matter and that truly are a threat to this country. I promise you – if all hell breaks loose in this country during these Jade Helm exercises, my happy ass is running towards them, not away from them. They’re the ones who are going to protect us – even the jackasses who are trying to catch them doing something wrong.

This Crazy Week: Choose Carefully What Matters

I’d decided earlier this week to steer clear of some of the events that were really heating up on many political, legal and societal fronts. I’m still taking heat from a few of my previous posts, which is OK, but trust me – I stand by everything I say and write. The beauty of that is I live in a country that allows me to do that.

I had a couple of emails this morning, including one from a client, asking me when I intended to write about the evils of same sex marriage. It’s difficult to give the one sentence statement I want to give.

For me, it’s simple: live and let live. I don’t give a rat’s ass who’s cracking whom, who’s marrying whom or who’s getting a divorce. If you know me, you already know I’ve had two failed marriages. I’m hardly the one to take a stand either way on the beauties of marriage. But, there are a few things I can take a stand on because they do affect me.

Facebook is loaded with twisted scripture from the Bible, accusations that same sex marriage was allowed because Christians did not stand up and demand it not pass and promises that the world’s coming to an end any second now. I don’t know who’s going to burn in hell for their choices made in this life, but we’re all going to have to answer for all of our sins. I’ve said it before: I’ll do me, and you do you. I know I won’t have to answer for passing judgment and spreading hate regarding someone else’s sexual identification. If I believe that everything happens for a reason and what’s meant to be will be (and I do believe this), and that everything passes in God’s time, then how can anyone claim to know God’s reasons?

My point is: we’re divided enough in this nation. What’s dividing us are opinions. Nothing more. I’ve got a newsflash for you – we don’t get a say, not really, with the decisions being made on our behalf in this country. If our opinions mattered, we’d have a unified Congress. We hear the politicians griping about the illegal actions of this Administration, yet the most they do is threaten their political enemies…on social media, no less. How many times have we heard different politicians demanding impeachment procedures against someone outside their party? Daily, right? Yet nothing is ever done. They’re griping and listening to their constituents, yet they are also the ones who can make it happen. But what do we hear as their response? Crickets. We hear crickets.

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Rusty Weiss, Political Insider

We are divided in ways we shouldn’t. Why are we turning on each other when the ones making the wrong decisions are behind closed doors and on tables piled with cash? When did we decide it’s better to do war on Twitter and Facebook with each other than look to the root of the real problem? It’s not us against us; it should be us united and demanding answers. Instead, we show our fear with ridiculous posts on social media. Ask any psychologist: anger is often nothing more than fear. Once we realize that, things become clearer.

mississippiSo, back to my point: I won’t be posting on the evils or benefits of same sex marriage. I do not care. What I do care about, however, is the possibility of being told I can’t fly my state’s flag in Mississippi. I do care about being forced to buy insurance I cannot afford and I do care that there are actually people out there who want me to surrender my guns. I do care about Russia and Greece partnering on the Turkish pipeline (that’s happened, but we’ve not felt the repercussions of that yet. Oh, and by the way, pay attention to BRICS angle in the coming weeks and months). I do care about overhearing an oil man in a conference say, “Hell, a terrorist attack might not be so damn bad. At least it’ll drive oil prices up.” And I do care about the fact that we’ve already seen a shooting of a co-worker from an employee who’d just been laid off from a job in the oil sector in Houston. I care because it’s just beginning and it will affect me and you and anyone else in this nation. Who you get in bed with each night matters none to me. The last time I cared about someone getting in bed with someone else, I realized my then-husband was cheating. So no, I don’t care.

It’s all about priorities.

Careful, Gov. Barbour – Some Have Long Memories

Back in 2003, during the Mississippi governor’s race, I was working for the state’s second largest employer, Howard Industries. One morning, I had a big group coming in for meetings with my boss. It was already hectic as there were a lot of moving parts in getting it coordinated and when Security called me and said there was a problem, I immediately went into the lobby to see what the brouhaha was about. Turns out, then-Governor Ronnie Musgrove, a Democrat, was making a campaign stop. I walked to the capture-20140222-085906receptionist’s desk to see what she knew. There were a few people standing around, but none were paying attention to me (or so I thought). When she told me that the governor was making a campaign stop, I said, “Oh, hell. Seriously? Clearly someone forgot to tell him he’s a has-been”. This look came across her face and by the time I’d made it back to my office, she was calling to tell me one of the women standing around was the governor’s campaign manager. I was aggravated enough already and so I said, “You should’ve told me that. I’ve been wondering if they made it to the coast for a campaign stop at Ingalls. I’d like to know how he survived that one!” Ingalls Shipbuilding (now Northrop Grumman) was the state’s largest employer and Democrats weren’t having much success when it came to Naval shipyards. I know this because I was employed by Ingalls during the Clinton Administration.

Haley Barbour Takes Office

So, when Haley Barbour beat Ronnie Musgrove, he became only the second Republican governor to represent Mississippi in many years. When Hurricane Katrina hit in 2005, he’d been in office for only a year and half, but his way of handling the historic crisis was quite impressive. I was proud to say I’d voted for him. He made the tough calls, including decisions to not accept certain federal monies for rebuilding the state. Many didn’t understand that with those federal dollars came big tradeoffs. Ultimately, because of his in-depth understanding of how the federal game works, he was able to secure more than $25 billion in federal money that didn’t require unacceptable political compromises in the process. Because of his hardline approach, he truly made big differences in how the state rebuilt after Hurricane Katrina.

Impressive Strides by Barbour

Barbour accomplished many good things for our state. He remains the only governor to have balanced his state’s budget in his first year with no new taxes or as he called it at the time, “funny money”. He made great strides for women and minority owned businesses in the state and he played a pivotal role in reducing the red tape for larger corporations wishing to do business in our state. An impressive record, by any standards.

The Stupidity in Some Decisions

What really boggles the mind, though, was what he did as he was leaving office. He (and for reasons most of us still don’t understand) granted pardons to more than 200 convicted felons, some of which were convicted killers and many of whom went missing as soon as they were released. It was ridiculously stupid to do so, especially since he touted his “Christian beliefs” (and that’s another story) as his justification. There was absolutely no warning made to the victims of these criminals. It remains as controversial today as it was then. That, and his choices as one of the biggest lobbyists in Washington, has sullied his otherwise impressive political record. This week, he added to that tarnished reputation.

Cochran’s Threat: Chris McDaniel

There’s a heated debate going on in the Mississippi GOP primary race between Senator Thad Cochran and state Senator Chris McDaniel. The big controversy right now (and it’s probably going to get worse before it gets better – which might be a good thing) is focused on Hurricane Katrina relief funds and whether McDaniel would have supported any kind of legislation that included $10 billion in aid to the state after the hurricane. McDaniel paused briefly. It wasn’t a classic “political pause” where a candidate is wondering what the right answer is, it was more of a pause that allowed him to carefully consider his words to keep the debate clean (as one person said, “Cause you know it ain’t gonna stay clean for much longer”).

McDaniel no doubt was considering the careful path laid by Barbour and his healthy dose of caution regarding federal funds when he was the one in that position. Barbour didn’t want to accept the money with a lot of political strings attached. At the time, Mississippians provided their governor a bit of leeway and as a result, they benefited from his caution. Now, suddenly, both Haley Barbour and McDaniel’s opponent, Thad Cochran have jumped on his “pause” and have begun accusing McDaniel of not caring about the voters. It’s hypocritical – it is exactly what Haley Barbour did – he paused in 2005. Yet, now that another candidate – in the same party, I might add, is showing a bit of restraint, it’s a curse that’s sure to knock Mississippi on its Magnolia-scented butt.

Hypocrisy in Politcs? Never!

Barbour clearly supports Cochran, and that’s fine. But what Cochran said after McDaniel’s cautious reply speaks volumes to those of us who know what happened. He told the press on Thursday:

Natural disasters can strike at any moment, and it is critical that Mississippians can count on their elected representatives to help them in times of crisis. Our delegation worked together in a bipartisan manner to make sure Katrina relief legislation was passed. As I look at how local and state officials have used this money, I am proud of what we did.

Yes, sir you should be proud. You should be proud because your supporter and our former governor ensured there would be no repercussions nearly a decade later than would have us anchored to some unrealistic and unneeded federal program, courtesy of our now-president.

Yet that same then-governor and current senator are trying to turn what they did then into something seedy in current day.

I have only one question for Senator Cochran: Don’t you know you’re a has-been?

Underestimating You and Me

Seems we have been a bit confused in recent years when it comes to the roles our politicians are filling. It looks as though we have simply expected entirely too much from these fearless leaders, those who are bringing this country back to its glorious heyday. Maybe we should let up on these political minds, back off and give them room to do their jobs. Or maybe they should just stop underestimating you and me and your older brother in Spokane. Maybe they should just…you know…do their jobs.

We try to follow the latest goings-on in Washington and seek to understand who the Republicans and Democrats are these days. Let’s face it, there is no hero who’s going to come save Capital Hill and the ones who are currently “running” it are doing little more than running the nation into the ground. The more these people bicker and argue, the more convoluted the lines become. There are few, if any, reminders of those past great presidents, such as Reagan or even Kennedy, and the strides they made in their time served. Last week’s brouhaha over contraception only cemented these suspicions.

Many of us found it difficult to follow. Whose privacy were the politicians seeking to protect? Whose religious freedoms? Whose Constitutional rights were at stake? It honestly seems as though even the politicians themselves are struggling with their own political identities. If this upcoming presidential election sought to underestimate us, score one for them – because I’m definitely struggling to keep up.

Today’s announcement by the Obama Administration regarding his $4 trillion deficit reduction plans were immediately dismissed by the Republicans. The report hasn’t even been “officially” released yet. Jeff Sessions, the Alabama Republican currently on the Senate Banking Committee, was slamming it in the 7 a.m. hour on Fox News. I know President Obama’s plans are often….lacking (and that’s as nice as I can be about it), but Sessions or any of the other politicians who have their faces planted all over national news media aren’t making statements like, “This plan won’t work, but if we incorporate this or take this out, we might have a viable plan”.

Why aren’t these folks treating their positions like jobs? I can’t imagine an employer sitting down on a Monday morning and being hit with a plan for the company’s growth, with five minutes to read it, and then hearing “This will never work” from one of his other employees. Even if it’s a huge disaster, shouldn’t there be a bit of a justification as to why? And better still, shouldn’t there be a more open approach to finding what will work? And if you’re wondering if anyone’s busy looking for those solutions, consider this:

I Googled “solutions to American debt crisis” after I read about Obama’s plan this morning. The top two results were media outlets in the UK. Not Fox News, not ABC News and not even Matt Drudge – instead, the two returns were straight from our British neighbors.

So who’s looking for the solution on American soil? You are. I am. Our neighbors are. And the solutions we’re looking for have little to do with our political affiliations. We’re looking for ways to to ensure we can retire. We’re looking for ways to cover the bills each month, keep the cupboards filled with groceries, keep the utilities on – all of these considerations are consistent whether we’re Republican, Democrat or even if we could care less about politics.

You see, we all have the freedom to elect folks into office and in extraordinary cases, we can play a role in removing them – sometimes. We all learned during the embarrassing Bill Clinton impeachment efforts that “impeachment” doesn’t mean “removed from office”. At any rate, we can vote different folks into office. But what we don’t have is the power to scrap the entire current line-up and start over. There are no options on any ballots that allow us to vote to “Fire them all. Now.” Even when we vote five or ten or twenty out during elections, we’re still stuck with another five or ten or twenty of their cronies. It’s a vicious cycle and grows each time it comes back around.

It’s almost like a bad case of lice going through an elementary school – it takes a collective effort and if even one goes untreated, you’ve defeated the purpose and right back to square one.

The only difference with an infestation of head lice and a group of selfish (and dare I say “worthless”) politicians is you can, with a little effort, get rid of the head lice in one fell swoop.

Whipped Shortbread

Anyone who’s kept up with this blog over the past couple of years knows I’m more prone to raise a little southern hell about politics, silly celebrities and their latest scandals and other “life in general” moments.  While that’s always a lot of fun and definite break from meeting deadlines and securing new contracts, what I love – what I really love – is hanging out in the kitchen. Seriously – my mom had me in a cake decorating class, of all things, when I was ten. I can remember cooking when I was a kid and more than a few interesting conversations that drove Mom mad (like this one).

One year for Christmas, my mom made my sister and me cookbooks – they’re handwritten with stories from each of our childhoods, along with the recipes she’s always made for us. I cherish that as much as I cherish the pictures of my Jacob and all of his sweet drawings and notes he’s made for me over the years. I’ve said it before: when a hurricane threatens, those are the things I gather. The rest of it? I could care less – I’m just sentimental like that I reckon.

From making sure eggs are cooked without the lace (another lesson I learned early on from another woman who is very important to me) to learning the difference between parchment paper and wax paper (a pretty important thing to know – and the sooner the better), I love cooking.

Today, I came across a recipe for whipped shortbread. Just the sound of it sounds amazing, right? Everyone loves shortbread – and unfortunately, everyone can relate to the possibility of a broken tooth with those store-bought cookies that are a health hazard (or as the Kitchen Magpie calls it, “hockey puck” shortbread). Ah…but then her recipe appears on my Facebook wall – and it was calling my name!

I clicked over to her site and sure enough – there was this amazingly easy recipe that calls for…wait for it…wait for it….THREE ingredients! So off to the kitchen I go and the recipe turned out exactly the way she said. Bit came by not long after I pulled them out of the oven and trust me – we made fools out of ourselves – me and that baby sister of mine. They are so good! Jacob’s getting ready to head for the Delta for some duck hunting and I already have some ready for him to take with him.

So, instead of me attempting to tell a story she told so well, here’s the link to the easy recipe, complete with pictures. It’s definitely worth your time. Keep in mind she stresses two things: make sure you whip your butter and sugar combo until it gets really light and don’t overbake them. Your goal is to “dry” them out and not so much “baking”. No eggs, no oil, no vanilla extract – just butter (or margarine), sugar and flour. Fair warning: I won’t be responsible for the need to buy new britches when you eat an entire batch by yourself. Y’all be sure and go “like” her Facebook page too. Oh – and by the way – if you haven’t visited my Facebook page, be sure and “like” it too!